Mystery Solved

Somebody please check Donald J. Trump’s blood for gold.

Looks by the color of his eye bags that he’s being poisoned by a precious metal.

Origin: All the fume-sweating gold in his apartment. It’s in his tissues now.

It’s an intoxicative inhalant. Brain damage is typically seen with chronic long-term use as opposed to short-term exposure.

Everybody said the rise of King Trump is a mystery. Not any more. It’s the gold. People can’t get close enough. They have to smell the fumes in person, thus the throngs of worshipers kneeling at his altar of gold. It’s intoxicating. They want a King and a Queen and a Royal Family.

Those Americans, who in the past, privately and publicly mocked Britain for having a Royal Family, will be elated beyond joy when they have one of their own.

The birthing of a Royal Family – right here in America – engineered in America – by the Royal Family itself.


No really, check his blood. He looks like an over-exposed gold junkie.



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