Somebody can’t give you high self-esteem – nor low nor anywhere in between.
That’s something you give yourself, something you create yourself out of your view of yourself and your view of your experiences.
Africans are always expecting or wanting Europeans to treat them more special than anyone else, so they can feel better about themselves – especially African women. Why?
- No, no, we don’t want extra special, or more special than anyone else, we want to be treated the same as everybody else so we don’t feel neglected or looked down upon.
There you go. Okay, thank you.
The fact that you argue the point proves the point of you wanting or needing somebody else to lift you up, somebody else to make you feel better.
It’s okay to feel good when somebody does something good, but to rely on it is where the needy part comes in, that ultimately nobody but you can provide. Not even short term, because it’s always in the short term that we feel most in need of support and most vulnerable. Spurts of trouble don’t last forever, unless you choose for them to last forever.
Your esteem doesn’t belong to anybody else. Nobody can take it from you. Momentarily, to take a dive or take a hit, then you rise again in short order. It’s part of the struggle to survive that makes us thrive in a multitudinously diverse and competing world/universe.
When you hand your most precious esteem over to some other individuals, groups or nations to raise for you, they resent it and see you as the diminished person you chose to be in their eyes. Nobody will help you unless you are diminished in their eyes is what you think, what you have seen and what you thus believe.
- I’m widening the view here for better understanding.
It is a continuous book of never-ending knowledge about you to you that leaves nothing out. It’s all raw for you to form in any way you want to form it.
It is not a collection or culmination of outside interferences. It’s not even about how you dealt with every blow to the mind, heart and soul. It’s about how you nurtured your own mind, heart and soul to allow for the growth from your own seed, yes your seed, necessary for your survival that makes you thrive in a competing environment.
Do you wish you had somebody else’s esteem? Be careful what you wish for. Yours may be in better condition than the one you covet in somebody else.
When you’re most vulnerable, do you really want some strangers coming in and making decisions for you that ultimately are always in their best interests first, or at minimal in the best interests of everybody else before you? That will not help you feel less neglected, nor more equal in worthiness.
Ask all the detained people who breached the southern border of the USA who were detained for their own safety and for documentation purposes. Do you think they feel neglected after being rescued from the DARK OF THE DESERT? They’re trapped with each other, where they’ll turn on each other.
In the short term suffering, when you are in most need of support and there are no friends around who want to hear about your bad feelings or your bad times is where you gather your own personal strength to survive and thrive. That’s where your esteem comes from – within you.
Nobody else can grow you like you can.
Happy Holidays from the WORD CHEF