Self Expectations

I expect the same from myself my family my neighbors my associates and my acquaintances and friendships as I do from my President and the politicians who make decisions that affect my life directly or indirectly no matter the state or district they claim to represent.

We’re all connected. I expect the same from every country region state city township municipality territory island continent as I do my own.

Stop seeking exemptions for special circumstances or conditions. If you’re lagging behind in progress you chose that path out of obstinacy – wanting the world to carry your weight. The world has it’s own burdens and doesn’t need yours.

Move forward and contribute by readying yourself for today and tomorrow. Yesterday is gone. Whatever you were supposed to learn from it your brain already processed. Not in excuses but by becoming in sync with your reality. Nobody else’s reality matters when you matter to you.

I’ve heard ‘I can’t do it’ so many times I want to vomit my mind out. Keep your ‘can’t do it’ talk to yourself and strategize a way to do what you want. Nobody cruises from A to Z in a specially designed time mobile. Those vehicles exist only in the movies.

Nobody talks about their process, so it appears that some started at A and ended at Z by zooming effortlessly through B to Y. Trust that never happens.

Get started by doing the next thing that seems natural without much thought.

Stand up in your mind. Look around in your mind. Feel comfortable in yourself, because no matter where you are, that’s what you have to work with today.



Somebody can’t give you high self-esteem – nor low nor anywhere in between.

That’s something you give yourself, something you create yourself out of your view of yourself and your view of your experiences.

Africans are always expecting or wanting Europeans to treat them more special than anyone else, so they can feel better about themselves – especially African women. Why?

  • No, no, we don’t want extra special, or more special than anyone else, we want to be treated the same as everybody else so we don’t feel neglected or looked down upon.

There you go. Okay, thank you.

The fact that you argue the point proves the point of you wanting or needing somebody else to lift you up, somebody else to make you feel better.

It’s okay to feel good when somebody does something good, but to rely on it is where the needy part comes in, that ultimately nobody but you can provide. Not even short term, because it’s always in the short term that we feel most in need of support and most vulnerable. Spurts of trouble don’t last forever, unless you choose for them to last forever.

When you choose that path you know to be trouble, then you also know that there will be no one there to lift you out of it when you scream for help.

How can a person feel neglected by an entire continent that they don’t even live on?

Your esteem doesn’t belong to anybody else. Nobody can take it from you. Momentarily, to take a dive or take a hit, then you rise again in short order. It’s part of the struggle to survive that makes us thrive in a multitudinously diverse and competing world/universe.

When you hand your most precious esteem over to some other individuals, groups or nations to raise for you, they resent it and see you as the diminished person you chose to be in their eyes. Nobody will help you unless you are diminished in their eyes is what you think, what you have seen and what you thus believe.

  • I’m widening the view here for better understanding.

Esteem, high, low or in between comes from within and how you interpret and deal with every moment of your existence.

It is a continuous book of never-ending knowledge about you to you that leaves nothing out. It’s all raw for you to form in any way you want to form it.

It is not a collection or culmination of outside interferences. It’s not even about how you dealt with every blow to the mind, heart and soul. It’s about how you nurtured your own mind, heart and soul to allow for the growth from your own seed, yes your seed, necessary for your survival that makes you thrive in a competing environment.

Do you wish you had somebody else’s esteem? Be careful what you wish for. Yours may be in better condition than the one you covet in somebody else.

When you’re most vulnerable, do you really want some strangers coming in and making decisions for you that ultimately are always in their best interests first, or at minimal in the best interests of everybody else before you? That will not help you feel less neglected, nor more equal in worthiness.

Ask all the detained people who breached the southern border of the USA who were detained for their own safety and for documentation purposes. Do you think they feel neglected after being rescued from the DARK OF THE DESERT? They’re trapped with each other, where they’ll turn on each other.

In the short term suffering, when you are in most need of support and there are no friends around who want to hear about your bad feelings or your bad times is where you gather your own personal strength to survive and thrive. That’s where your esteem comes from – within you.

Nobody else can grow you like you can.

Happy Holidays from the WORD CHEF


LIGHT RAIN – video





  • The eye of the storm. The mind is most powerful when it’s stubborn. The resistance of the mind is like super glue–one drop holds a yacht, keeps a mountain from moving, stops the sea from separating, and creates a frustration so intense in a person witnessing it in another, that it can cause heart attacks, strokes, cancer and who knows what else. Stubbornness isn’t even like cancer; it’s worse. Cancer you can deal with; a stubborn person you can’t. There is no amount of reason one can use, no amount of persuasion, no sum of money or pile of gold, to move a stubborn person who says no to change their mind to say yes.
  • And stubbornness abounds–with more than enough to go around–in all sectors of life, within all groups, cultures and nations. Can anything good be said of stubbornness? No. The ominous cloud of stubbornness has no silver lining. It’s a formidable tool, a weapon as cold and hard-hitting as the atomic bomb. It destroys lives, families, businesses, cultures, countries. It can turn an entire planet upside down. But it rarely destroys the person whom it houses. It is therefore a great protector. The stubborn person lives in the eye of the storm. No matter where they go, they take their storms with them–mowing down everything and everybody in their paths, while they stay secure.

  • Stubbornness is an addiction, like any other, but unlike any other, in that it has yet to be recognized as one. Once a person uses it to get what they want, the thrill of success, perverse as it is, makes it nearly impossible to stop. Stubbornness requires no skill. It’s as easy as eating pie. That’s the allure. It’s easy–too easy–for those who don’t give an owl’s hoot for anything or anyone but themselves. It feels good and it works. It gives control where there otherwise would be none, because the stubborn person has yet to develop the skills necessary to make changes. In fact, they don’t like change.

  • Can a stubborn person become not stubborn? Sure they can, but they won’t. Fear keeps them from it–fear of the unknown, fear of losing their power, fear of losing control, fear of life, fear of living that life, fear of themselves. There are no mirrors where they live, no reflections. They can’t reflect, because they can’t interact. They live in isolation, fearing the world–a painful, hollow, meaningless existence.

  • Is there hope for the stubborn among us? Sure there is. All it takes is a little courage to step out beyond the safety of the eye of the storm in which they live, and feel the havoc they’ve created, accept responsibility for the ruin they’ve inflicted, and then say yes–to life, to living, to giving, to sharing, to learning.

  • It’s not unlike the courage needed by the people pleaser who fears rebuke to say no.



  • Change. In some way you must engage in the process of change if you want change to happen. It’s no longer enough to sit back hoping for change while others do all the work of it. At some point you must make whatever contribution you’re comfortable making, understanding that you may be discriminating against yourself by remaining in a comfort zone you’ve long outgrown, but haven’t had the motivation to move beyond.
  • One must experience the process of change in order to continue on the path of change. It’s not like a movie that somebody else writes and your part is written in somewhere near the end, and all you have to do is show up. Change is an evolution of you. Your life, your goals, your setbacks, your challenges, hopes and dreams are constantly in the state of reassessment.  Every individual can and does make a difference. A person’s contribution, however, is no greater or lesser than anybody else’s. You can change the world by starting with yourself. It is by changing yourself that you change the world. Yes, that’s right. You change the world by changing yourself.
  • The good news is that it can be done in an instant. So yes, you do have a magic wand and that magic wand is you. Nobody else can do it for you.  It’s called self-correcting behavior. When you change yourself, because we’re all connected to the same universe, that universe changes in your likeness. So make sure your change is a positive one and that it conforms to the five principles to a better life: no prejudice, discrimination, enslavement, torture and slaughter.
  • The key word is no. If left unchecked prejudice leads to discrimination which leads to enslavement which leads to torture and finally to slaughter unless you take conscious steps to prevent it or once implemented to stop it. However, any one of the fundamental flaws of society can occur spontaneously without going through the process of the others. For example, slaughter can occur without prior warnings of prejudice, discrimination, enslavement or torture when a sudden real or perceived threat to one’s survival occurs. Be assured, however, that when the spontaneous event of slaughter occurs, the other four flaws simultaneously occur with it.
  • The unpredictable nature of the five flaws makes it even more critical to prevent prejudice from occurring in the first place, by being vigilant of your real thoughts and feelings, rather than those you’re told by society to have. To change yourself, thus the world, you must be an activist. Activist means activity. An activist of “one” means that you set an example of the change you want. For example, if you want everybody to get along, then  make an effort to get along with everybody else.